Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
