I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Well I just put wine in my tea
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
