god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
