Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
