Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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