She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
