she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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