when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
This couple is walking their pig around campus
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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