She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
