She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
