Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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