I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
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