I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
