my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
