Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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