Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
