Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
