it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
handjob tips. give me some.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
