so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
