He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize