Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
