I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
