My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
