You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
