Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
