update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
