what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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