I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize