You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
