just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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