If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
