My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
