Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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