Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
