Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
