Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
