If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
