i jhust puked up my retainher.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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