hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
