she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
