Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize