no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
