glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
