I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
