I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
