Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
