OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
