just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
