She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
