so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
