This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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