Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
