That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you win again, gameday.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
