Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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