I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
