just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
