What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
