Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize