I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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