I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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