All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
