Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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