Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
